Christmas with The Joker
by MangoKat
Summary: The Joker loves Christmas and has a very special night planned for Batman and the People of Gotham.


**Christmas with The Joker**

He could taste his freedom it was so close. The Joker ran his tongue over his cracked lips anxiously and continued staring upwards at the ceiling. The lumpy cot beneath him dug into his back uncomfortably but even that couldn't dampen his mood. Not tonight.

They thought they had him contained. They thought they had him controlled. That more than anything was hilarious. You couldn't control chaos, chaos was random and wonderful. No matter how hard they tried, they would never be able to hold him for long.

His mouth twitched slightly into a smirk as he thought about all of their useless attempts at taming him. The smirk turned into a grin, then he giggled and a moment later, he erupted into all out laughter. It echoed around the small cell like thunder and carried throughout the outside halls hauntingly. No one could laugh like him, no one besides he was The Joker after all.

It only took two minutes before a large, balding orderly was hammering angrily on the door and glaring at him through the grate.

"Shut it, clown! It's three in the morning, you're going to wake the other loonies up!"

The Joker just continued laughing hysterically, staring at the orderly through tearing eyes.

The orderly was not impressed in the least. "You won't think it's so funny when I come in there and shove a sedative up your ass, you damn clown!"

If anything The Joker only laughed harder, actually rolling off the bed in a fit of hysterics. The orderly scowled at the display but didn't follow through with his threat of opening the door. Everyone was afraid of The Joker and he wasn't sure what the other man was capable of, even in a straightjacket. After what Gotham had seen this man do, they weren't taking any chances.

The orderly gave him a look of disgust then said. "I'm calling your doctor, maybe then she'll order to have you pumped full of thorazine."

With one final curse, the orderly disappeared from the grate knowing there would be no quieting the clown tonight. He stormed down the hall in a foul mood, muttering to himself and hating his job more than ever tonight. When he reached the nurses station, he leaned over the counter and grabbed the phone and dialled a number obviously called very often.

It rang five times before finally a very tired voice answered.

"Hello?"

"Hi, Dr. Thomas, it's Charlie from the night watch."

Dr. Thomas let out the heaviest, most irritated sigh Charlie had ever heard. "Not again, please God, not again. This is the third time this week! What has he done this time?"

Charlie hesitated, wondering whether this would the best option after all. "Well...he's at it again..."

"Laughing or philosophical rantings?"

"Laughing."

Another irritated sigh. "Ok, I'll be there in 15 minutes."

She hung up without another word and Charlie stared at the phone a moment before placing it back on its holder. He only had to endure 15 more minutes of this noise then hopefully the clowns doctor could calm him down.

The Joker flopped over onto the cold concrete floor, knowing it wouldn't be too much longer. He'd been patient up until now, a very hard feat for him, but tonight was his night. He may be chaos but he knew how to escape when he put his mind to it and he knew that his men would be arriving shortly.

He was still in a mad fit of giggles when a small beeping caught his attention and he went silent instantly. The beeping lasted several seconds then stopped just as abruptly. He was glad they hadn't found the watch he'd hidden behind a loose brick during their routine searches as that would have raised some questions. It was 3:30. Showtime.

Dr. Thomas and the nurse that walked with her exchanged a look, at the sudden unexpected silence. They approached The Joker's cell cautiously, not sure what they were going to see.

The room was shadowed and they had to squint, but they were met with the sight of The Joker sitting completely motionless in the centre of the floor, staring upwards at the ceiling. He wasn't blinking, his face was blank and he didn't even seem to be breathing. Every bit of his concentration was towards one spot directly above him.

Dr. Thomas stared at his blank expression and wondered if he'd had some sort of stroke as she'd seen symptoms like this before. "Joker?" she questioned through the grate. "Are you alright?"

Not so much as a twitch or blink in response.

"Joker, it's Dr. Thomas, can you hear me?" she called loudly.

The Joker's eery stare continued at that same spot on the ceiling.

"Can you hear me?" Dr. Thomas repeated.

When this gained no answer either, she frowned and turned to the nurse. "Get one of the orderly's and another nurse. We'll need to open the door to see what's wrong. I think he's had some sort of breakdown."

"Yes, ma'am." the nurse replied, hurrying off to do as she was asked, leaving the doctor by herself in the hallway.

Doctor Thomas squinted through the semi-darkness of The Joker's cell trying to get a good look at him, but could barely even see the clowns outline. She couldn't even tell if he was alive. She wished she could just turn on the lights but all the lights were for the floor not just one specific room so unless he was hurt for sure she wouldn't be able to turn them on.

Taking out her badge, she swiped it through the card reader on the door and typed in her access code. Instantly the door opened for her and she slipped inside. Aware that she was by herself, but not nervous as this was the patient she'd dealt with for the past 3 months, she closed the door tightly after herself and approached him. She could now see he was in fact breathing, quite erratically at that so she relaxed, knowing he was at least alive.

"Joker?" she questioned softly, placing a hand on his shoulder.

When he didn't answer her, she knelt down beside him and gave him a small nudge. "Joker?" she called again. "Joker, please respond. Can you hear me?"

Ever so slowly, his eyes flicked over to her, a glint of white in the darkness.

"Shh. I...I really wish you'd stop interrupting this."

He was obviously fine in the physical sense and doctor Thomas let out a sigh of exasperation. Despite herself and her annoyance at the false alarm, she asked. "Interrupting what?"

"Ohhh, you'll see."

Not liking the sound of that one bit, she glanced around the bare cell wondering exactly what he was up to. The last time he was in this sort of frame of mind, he managed to get out of his room and get his hands on a broken piece of coffee mug. Three people ended up dead because of it and The Joker was not allowed out of a straightjacket since. Not liking the straightjacket one bit, his small act of rebellion was seeing how far he could push everyone else around him and usually that was at 2 or 3 in the morning.

"You can't keep doing this!" Dr. Thomas scolded. "You're keeping everyone up at night playing these games! It isn't funny, no one's laughing!"

The Joker's eyes flitted over to her again, this time there was amusement in them. "That's interesting...cause I really can't seem to stop laughing!" he gave a small chuckle to prove his point.

Dr. Thomas was not so easily angered as some of the other Arkham employees and simply sighed. "What's bothering you this time?" she asked. "This is the third time this week I've had to come in after hours. Are you having trouble sleeping? Nightmares? What is it?"

"No, no, no problem, not for long anyway. The world is in denial, Sweets, and it's my job to give them one hell of a wake up call. They're all exactly the same, from the same cookie cutter just with different sprinkles. I'm the only one who sees it."

"Oh, not this again, and don't call me Sweets, Joker, it's Dr. Thomas. We've been over this."

"What time is it?"

Surprised by his question, Dr. Thomas looked down at her watch then replied. "3:37, and I for one would actually like to sleep all the way through the night without having to run here! It's Christmas Eve, and I have children so if you're done causing trouble, I'm going home."

The Joker frowned a moment then looked back towards the ceiling. "Can't rely on anyone these days."

As the doctor was trying to decipher what he'd meant by that, her thoughts were interrupted by a deafening explosion. The Joker jumped to his feet, his expression one of pure glee and looked towards the door where dust could be seen filling the hallway. As Doctor Thomas gaped like a fish, listening to the shrieking from the hallway, The Joker grabbed her around the throat, his hands free from the straightjacket.

"J-joker?" Doctor Thomas questioned.

"Open the door, sweets."

"I can't-ack!"

The Joker tightened his grip, cutting off any air to her lungs and she clawed at his hand desperately.

"Oh, I think you'll find that you can..." he said calmly, grinning like a shark. "Because if you don't, I'm going to have some REAL fun!"

The doctor's eyes widened as his grip tightened all the more and she found herself nodding. Pleased, The Joker loosened his hand enough to allow her some air and shoved her harshly towards the door.

"Now be a good little shrink and open the door for 'ol Joker."

Her hand shaking, Doctor Thomas, pulled out her keycard and swiped it and typed in the passcode. The door clicked and The Joker immediately opened it, pushing the doctor ahead of him.

The hallway was complete chaos, patients and orderly's fighting, the rogues to get free and the orderly's just to stay alive. Where the left wing used to be, a massive gaping hole now stood in it's place. Amid the deafening noise of the riot, a whirring could be heard from outside and Doctor Thomas could just make out the outline of a helicopter as it circled in front of the hole.

The Joker flashed her a look that could only be described as peevish, before he threw her headfirst into the riot. His eyes now trained on the hole, he walked through the mayhem untouched as it parted for him like water. Looking out into night, as the dust billowed around him, he caught the ladder dropped for him by the copter. As it took off with gunshots following behind, the only thing that could be heard was laughter.

The Joker was now back in his regular suit and was humming to himself as he loaded a van with his Christmas 'essentials'. Three burly henchmen stood at the ready, identical clown masks making them seem like clones. The Joker paid them no mind as he threw the last bag in the back and climbed into the drivers seat. The henchmen clambered into the van, barely having enough time to get in before The Joker stepped on the gas.

The van sped through the streets and pedestrians who were unlucky enough to be out at that hour had to dive out of the way of the rampaging vehicle. The Joker stopped the van on Main Street and grinned at his now nervous henchmen.

"What do ya say we spread a little Christmas cheer?"

"Yeah, sure boss."

Rolling down his window, The Joker squinted at the building numbers then hopped out of the van, whistling jauntily. Pulling a remote out of his pocket, he began singing loudly and off key as he slowly walked up the street.

"Dashing through the snooooow!"

He aimed the remote at one of the buildings, pressing the button, causing the building to explode in a fiery inferno.

"In a one horse open sleiiiiiiiigh!"

He aimed at another building and grinned as it exploded.

"O'er the fields we gooooooo!"

Another explosion lit up the sky.

"Laughing all the waaaaaaay!"

At this The Joker let out a ear-piercing cackle as two more buildings exploded.

"Bells on bob tails riiiiing!"

He did a pirouette as two more buildings exploded beside him, sending flames and smoke licking at his pant-legs. "Making spirits briiiiiight!"

Another building exploded, sending chunks of concrete flying across the pavement, just missing The Joker.

"What fun it is to laugh and siiiing!"

Here he paused a moment to let out another unnerving cackle as buildings around him collapsed and the fires began to spread.

"A slaying song toniiiiight!"

Kneeling down, he threw up his arms dramatically as the rest of the buildings lit the street in a blazing, deafening explosion which left The Joker breathless from the heat. His makeup smearing from sweat and heat, The Joker grinned and licked his lips excitedly. Through the smoke and dust, The Joker's eyes focussed on the only standing building on the street. Gotham city Orphanage.

Straightening up, he brushed his hair out of his eyes, and began slowly stalking towards the orphanage.

"Oh, jingle bells, jingle bells! Jingle all the waaaay!"

All that could be seen now was a seemingly endless wall of flame on either side of him as he walked through the hell he'd made.

"Oh, what fun it is to ride, In a one horse open sleiiiiigh!"

He now stood at the gate of the orphanage and one of his henchmen quickly handed him a new remote, this one with a giant red bow tied to it.

"All good to go mr. Joker."

"Jingle bells, jingle bells, Jingle all the waaaay!"

The Joker continued as if the henchman weren't even there. Grinning darkly up at the orphanage, he could just make out a few small faces looking out the window at the carnage. He ran a finger over the remote lovingly, his thumb lightly ghosting over the button as he let out a deep breath.

"Oh, what fun it is to ride, In a one horse open sleiiiiigh!"

Eyes focussed entirely on the building before him, his thumb began to press down. His head then smashed into the ground as a rock-hard fist slammed into him, remote sliding across the pavement.

Dazed for a moment, he blinked then looked up into the furious face of Batman. The vigilante's mouth was set in a thin line and his eyes were like ice. The Joker grinned up at him.

"Merry Christmas, Bats!"

Batman grabbed him by the collar and yanked him to his feet harshly.

"See my gift to you? I, uh, didn't think fireworks would be enough so..."

A fist slammed into his face, splitting his lip and The Joker laughed like it was the most hilarious thing in the world. Still laughing, he pointed towards the orphanage.

"Don't ya want to see the finale, Bats? It'll be magical!"

He received a second punch to the face, then a third.

"I knew this would be just the thing to brighten your day." The Joker said, spitting out blood. "Orphans always burn the brightest. Little tree lights on a cold December day!"

As Batman punched him again and again, The Joker couldn't stop laughing, his laughter echoing up the burning street as sirens could be heard in the distance. The Joker loved Christmas. Oh how he loved Christmas.


End file.
